Wicked and the Beast
by lightmylumiere
Summary: the only story where Elphie meets her rightful love, and Belle meets the only man more hansom than Gaston!
1. Party Crashers

*THIS is my big idea. Wicked, I want you to be our guest and meet Beauty and the Beast. Nothing can shape up a plot as quick as a witch having an affair with a candle!*

Party Crashers

Glinda and Elphaba creek open the door, having heard music from outside the moat. "This sure as _heck _isn't the Emerald City, Fiyero."

"Patience, ladies. All in good time."

"_You _just won't admit we're lost."

"We aren't lost, Galinda, we just aren't where we thought we were."

Elphaba hushed the quarreling lovebirds. "The music is coming from upstairs. Come on."

"Elphie, this is private property. We are _CLEARLY _breaking an entrance."

"Have I ever ACTUALLY obeyed the laws?" They all shrugged and bounced up the stairs.

"_It's a guest, it's a guest. Sakes alive! Oh, I've been blessed." _Sang a cheery sing-song voice from the kitchen. "_Wine's been poured and, thank the Lord, I've had the napkins freshly pressed." _

"Wow, the master of this dormitory must be strict." Glinda whispered, Elphaba again shushing her to listen to the music.

"_With dessert, she'll want tea, and my dear that's fine with me. While the cups do their soft-shoeing I'll be bubbly and a-brewing."_

_How animated,_ Elphaba thought as they continued down the corridor.

"_Ah, Babette."_ A particularly alluring voice sang, pulling Glinda by the heart to the room filled with music. Elphaba and Fiyero chased after the lovesick blonde.

As they swung open the doors, Elphaba noticed that the room was filled with furniture and silverware. But one thing was different from your common-day china: perhaps the fact that it was dancing about the room. _DANCING?_

The music suddenly stopped, and the entire room gasped mid-tango swoop.


	2. What On Earth

What on Earth

"Um," said the voice in the blue gown, sitting at the table enjoying the dancing objects. "Could we get back to singing about how I'm making all your dreams come true?"

"We could…" said the candelabrum, very dignified. He dropped the feather duster. "A chanté, mademoiselles. And monsieur."

"Oh Bonjourno!" Shouted Glinda, missing the IQ points she claimed to have.

"Mon Lumiere, this is Babette and that clock over there is Cogsworth. If you need—"

"What is _THAT?_!" Screamed the clock at the top of it's miniature lungs.

"That is a human, I think." Lumiere muffled.

"Think? Think! You either know or you don't."

"Be hospitable, she's standing right there."

"That's a _She?"_ he said, staring at Fiyero.

"No, the green one."

"And you're telling ME to be _hospitable._"

It wasn't until this moment Elphaba felt out of place in the enchanted castle. "Oh, I've been so inconsiderate. I am Elphaba, that is Galinda, and this is Fiyero. We got lost, I suppose."

"Where were you headed?" The candle asked kindly.

"We'll give you directions to wherever you need to get if you just leave." The clock gestured her away.

"Funny thing is, I don't exactly know. We lost our way days ago, heading to the Emerald City."

"The Ezereld City?" the clock asked, then pondered and added. "Why, you are pretty lost, that's on the other side of France."

"No, Emerald City. As in green. In Oz, center of the country."

"Oz? I'm a social studies major, and I've never heard of 'Oz'."

"See, Glinda, I told you you bubbled us the wrong place."

"Look, it's late and cold." A stout teapot made her way into the dining room on a tea cart. "There's definitely more room at the table, at least for three more. We can send you away tomorrow though."

"You're the one I heard singing in the kitchen!" Elphaba said. "Do you all sing here? That is what lead us inside."

They all tuned into one harmonious note.

"Do you sing, child?"

_Yes._ "I dabble."

"Then let's get back to eating. We have a curfew, plates."


	3. Chapter 3?

Chapter 3?

Elphaba watched in adoration. This was so much better than her own home. With the gargoyles and the windows, a gothic paradise. She didn't feel out of place. Until Glinda said, "Elphie, at least in this castle you don't clash." Followed by a childish snicker.

She hated that name. Elphie. It would kill her, she swore. Glinda saw life as a joke. Elphaba didn't. She saw life, even her's, worked in special ways to make things happen. But was this bend in the road good for her or for Glinda?

"Mrs. Potts," Elphaba asked. "What happened here?" she watched her struggle to get the plates into the sink. "Here, let me help you with that."

"Thanks, child." She smiled as much as a teapot ever had, even in her dreams. "You are so nice."

"Don't waste your breath saying that."

"I may not know you, but I see something good in you." She placed her spout around Elphaba's wrist. "So will the master."

"The… _master?_"

"Yes, child, the master. He's a nice man way deep down, but his appearances turn others away."

"I've heard that a lot about me, you know."

"Then you might get along with him quite well."

"Do you think he would like to meet someone like me? I mean, figuratively."

"By personality, you could change him."

"And physically?"

"I think he would like you, love. No doubt he would like someone like him."


	4. Wrong Judgment

Wrong Judgment

"Lumiere! Oh, Lumiere!" Next thing the candle knew he had a feather duster on his hip. "We have enough company. Why did you invite the others in to stay?"

"I didn't! Mrs. Potts did."

"But _you_ introduced us." She criticized. That was a typical move for Babette.

"_Mon amour, mademoiselle._ I just think maybe we had the wrong girl."

"The _what?_"

"Wrong—"

"I heard what you said." She ran her feathers against his waxy arms. She loved the heat he provided for her. "But are you sure?"

"We headed for a high goal. She's conceited, we can't change them both. The green girl is just like him. She will be easy."

"Easy is not a word in our vocabulary." She smiled. "We tend to like things hard. And she's no exception."

"What do you mean?"

"She swears like a sailor, she has a low self esteem. She has this _thing_ for the man that came with them, and she looks like she's going to throw up every 10 seconds."

"That might just be the green in her skin."

"It might just be a guess, but I think she's with him… and by the looks of it his kid."

"That's a pretty big judgment to give from first looks."

"I bet I'm right." She smiled, running her skirt across his feet and placing his hands on her waist.

"Let's not bring it up, okay? Not to the master, not to anyone at all."


	5. Master

Master

Elphaba sat on the stairs with a book in her lap. The girl in the blue, they called her Belle, brought her carpet bag down the staircase while an angry voice yelled from upstairs_ Good job leaving I didn't think you were the one either! Run back to that hunter boy of yours! I don't care if he kills me, just go save your precious Papa!_

A furry animal ran down the stairs. Was it a bear? No, nor a gorilla. It had brown matted fur, and resembled a dog.

"Oh, hello. Am I in your way?"

"Don't mind me. I'm just so mad at her!"

"It's alright. I feel the same way. She was a real jerk when I met her."

"I'm sorry, but who are _you_?"

"I never introduced myself. I'm Elphaba."

"When did you get here, Elphaba?"

"Last night. We were lost and heard music."

He smiled at her. It was a toothy smile. He seemed terribly forward and she sank back to her book. "Sorry, I took the pleasure from reading some of your literature. But your letters are so different than ours."

"Where are you from?"

"Oz. Funny thing is nobody here knows where that is."

"I am no exception. But if you want me to, I can teach you how to read this."

"What book is that anyways? I just like the cover."

"_The Wizard of Oz._"


	6. Book It

Book It

Elphaba smiled as she adjusted her skirt. She had fallen asleep in the library. Who could blame her, sleeping in the comfort of a large library, staring at the green ceiling. Hearing _I love you, you're like me I never thought I'd say that to anyone._ With a cloak wrapped around her shoulders and a furry arm wrapping her back.

She saw, after their first kiss in the library that very night, that all of things in the castle that made her feel normal had disappeared into the vast array of nothingness. The enchanted beings, even the beast. In his place was a man, a gorgeous man, a Prince.

"Beast?" she asked, questioning the man before her.

"You can call me Jack now."

"Jack?"

"It's me. I'm a human now."

"Are you still going to teach me how to read?"

"We finished the book last night." Jack said. "Besides, I thought we could do something different…"


	7. Wanting

Wanting

Lumiere smiled at the blonde. Glinda wrapped herself around the balcony in a floaty floral robe. Perfect timing. _Just got to get her attention now_.

"Allo!"

"Hello, sir." She replied cordially. _Modest, I see._ "Do I know you?"

"Of course, _mon amour!_ I am Lumiere, the candle?"

Her aha moment.

"I don't know you but I would _like to_."

"How many times have you used that one?"


End file.
